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| | Every morning, Bob Kurvers walks from his apartment in St. Therese Residence in New Hope to St. Therese Care Center next door.
Sometimes, they talk a little, and then Patricia usually falls asleep. Around lunchtime, Bob pushes her back to the care center and the afternoon stretches out before him.
For 57 years, Patricia has been at the center of Bob’s life.
Patricia and Bob attended high school together, and Patricia sang in Bob’s swing band. While in the Navy, Bob sent Patricia a letter, and, well, the rest is history. They raised a son while Patricia taught fourth grade and Bob worked for the Small Business Administration.
After retirement, they built a home on a lake, traveled and enjoyed life. About 11 years ago, Patricia began showing symptoms of Alzheimer’s and, soon after, Bob became Patricia’s caregiver.
Getting help for spouse
As the Alzheimer’s grew worse, she developed some other health problems that required a great deal of care. In December 2008, Patricia’s Alzheimer’s became too advanced, and Bob had to place her in the St. Therese of New Hope Care Center. To be close to her, Bob left his friends and previous apartment and moved into the residence.
Bob said he believes Patricia is getting wonderful care at St. Therese. He acknowledges that being a caregiver is not always easy and admits that it has taken an emotional and physical toll. For him, loneliness is the hardest part.
Alzheimer’s has claimed Bob’s best friend and Bob had to move away from other friends. Because he always spends the mornings caring for Patricia, he cannot participate in many outings or activities. In addition, trying to help her get around, lifting her wheelchair in and out of the car, and pushing it up and down the ramp has hurt his back.
Despite the challenges, Bob is grateful that he can take care of Patricia after all the years she took care of their family. Bob said, “We are together and we love each other. She still knows me and that’s all that matters.”
Update: After Bob was interviewed for this article, Patricia died. Bob and son Jay were able to be by her side until the very end. Catholic Senior Services and St. Therese are grateful to Bob for sharing this story.
How to get help
Call Catholic Senior Services’ help line for more information at 1-877-420-6461, or visit its Web site at www.catholicseniorservices.org.
Did you know?
The number of family caregivers is dropping dramatically, while the needs of seniors continue to soar as the “age wave” approaches.
People over 65 are expected to increase at a 2.3 percent rate, but the number of family members available to care for them will only increase at a 0.8 percent rate.
Elderly spousal caregivers with a history of chronic illness themselves who are experiencing caregiving-related stress have a 63 percent higher mortality rate than their non-caregiving peers.
More than 50 million people provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year. Most are women who sacrifice paid work to care for senior family members.
Source: Deacon Bill Heiman, vice president of external affairs for Catholic Senior Services
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“The answer to old age is to keep one's mind busy and to go on with one's life as if it were interminable.”
- Leon Edel
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